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Talk:JURASSIC PARK: OUTBREAK.
I think Jurassic Park: Outbreak is a pretty cool guy. Eh swears for no patricular reason and doesn't afraid of anything. I'm sorry, but this fic is just bad. The images made it look good, but the actual story is full of typos, random swear words, and and just horrible writing. Almost as bad as most T-Rex VS Spino fics made by T-Rex fanboys. "The Spinosaurus neck started to come off of his head" kind of bad. Peenut2k7 (talk) 17:58, May 16, 2013 (UTC) :He's right about the grammar, typos and admittedly the language is a little offensive, but other than that you've really got something going here! Lots of gore, BioSyn baddies getting killed violently, Chrichton would certainly be proud (Howard King and Lewis Dodgson's deaths jump to mind). Just try to reduce the typos, improve your grammar, less swearing, love the title logo, nice Charcharodontosaurus and keep up the good work. :I have returned. I am a king. Therefore, I am THE RETURN OF THE KING!! Speak to me, peasants! 21:40, May 16, 2013 (UTC) Reply to a person Mr. ReturnOfTheKing, what are the typos? I've edited this thing too many times... Also, THANK YOU for the possive response, the carch is actually a gig. And why is it a problem that Ronold curses? JP novels have curses, a lot in TLW. :The "f" bomb isn't a curse, exactly… :Sorry about mixing up Charcharodontosuarus and Giganatosaurus. I must have forgotten which was which. :To quote you, Mr. ReturnOfTheKing, what are the typos? I've edited this thing too many times... Also, THANK YOU for the possive response, the carch is actually a gig. And why is it a problem that Ronold curses? JP novels have curses, a lot in TLW. :Referring to typos, let me name a few. For starters, "possive," "Ronold" (wouldn't it be Ronald?) and I'm not sure if "what are the typos" is perfect grammar. There are a lot more in your prologue to your story. No offense, of course, but they make it a bit hard to read in parts. No story is perfect and this one has it's flaws, but I think it is a terrific start. Welcome to Jurassic Park. :I have returned. I am a king. Therefore, I am THE RETURN OF THE KING!! Speak to me, peasants! 23:36, May 16, 2013 (UTC) Reply. What's wrong with creative spelling? Names can be as creative as you want, Wingfield is a example. Reply. ReturnOfTheKing, I need more information then that, WHAT ELSE DO I NEED TO WORK ON? Yet a different other reply Hmm? Sorry, I was absent a day or two. Okay, Ronold is fine. Just maybe go over the grammar and some of the spelling. That's all. And keep the swearing, I don't think bad language is a new thing here. I have returned. I am a king. Therefore, I am THE RETURN OF THE KING!! Speak to me, peasants! 23:39, May 17, 2013 (UTC) Does "SPEESHHHHHHHHH!!!" "Beady brown eyes" "What the fuck do we dooo!!!" "Rectangular head" and "the foot smashed Wingfield's eye sockets" answer your question? Other than that, humorous violence and an all around narm charm. Peenut2k7 (talk) 07:21, May 18, 2013 (UTC) :And that translates to what, exactly, in English? :I have returned. I am a king. Therefore, I am THE RETURN OF THE KING!! Speak to me, peasants! 17:29, May 19, 2013 (UTC) Reply to Peenut2k7 the hater. The f-bomb was for dramatic effect, Dodsgon said many fucks, I am not changing it dude. Reply to Sniper002, the writer I'm not hating. It's well written and all, but the wierd grammar killed it. The F Bomb doesn't matter, the wierd writing just turned something promising into something outright bad. And from that little thing above your comment, you remind me more of Pythor when he's being a jerk than anything. (This is Peenut2k7, I forgot to log in, so I can't add my siggy. Sorry.)